Courtyard: Warrior
“You got hold of quite a warrior didn’t you?”
“Well wh- what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. My head hurts like hell.“
“Ah- you should have felt what it was like a couple of hours ago.”
“… you felt that?“
“I feel everything that you feel.”
“But I don’t feel what you feel?“
“Yes you do…”
“So you feel nothing?“
“More or less. Less most of the time…”
“Since when did we become friends?“
“Ever since the merge you are me, and I am you… We’re no longer comrades… we’re… alone together..?”
“So, what exactly? Did you feel what happened in my room?“
“Yeah..? Hope that’s okay with you?”
“Well, I guess it’s okay, kind of awkward and weird though.“
“I don’t feel the kissing. I feel the feelings.”
“What?“
“If someone stabs you in the eye and you loose your eye I will only feel pain for as long as you do. But my eye will not have suffered any damage, I think. I’m glad that you felt the joy that you felt yesterday, it was very soothing…”
“What do you mean by warrior?“
“The girl? She has been up since dawn, she’s homeless isn’t she?”
“I don’t know… I never saw her house.“
“If you want her to stay then she can stay. But know that she will wither and die one day. And though a lifetime with her now seems like forever a lifetime with her after she has died will have past way too fast…”
And so the conversation came to an end. Maybe it was for the better. I had to think about what Heartbreaker had just told me. A lifetime..? A lifetime together with someone else. And what did he mean by wither; withering is what flowers do? Are human lives really as frail as flowers? All those lives I have taken. Do I have the blood of flowers on my hands? And in what twisted world will a lifetime feel like an instant after it has passed…? Time isn’t really something that I feel. It’s something I know effects the world around me. I was starting to understand what he meant with what he said to me. I understand why he said it, I understand what he meant. So- now that I have actually brought her here, will I ask her to stay or ask her to leave?
The young, and in daylight much more vivid, woman was sitting in the middle of a field that was located just beneath the fort. The field on which many warriors had fought against the two Heartbreakers. Many flowers had been cut down, many lives had withered away. Many promises had been broken and many voices had been silenced. Her voice hadn’t been silenced, not by a weapon, word or time.
I could protect her at least from words and from weapons… I can’t protect her from time. She wouldn’t survive merging with me. She’s not even created to last forever. Was I created to last forever? Maybe this feeling on my back is Sir Heartbreaker trying to comfort me? Does he feel my confusion? Did he tell me all that to wake up these feelings within me? Why did I kill all those men..? Aren’t all flowers as beautiful… in their own way?
“What have I done…?“
