Ambush: Immortality

As the young Heartbreaker made his way towards his beautiful guest he started feeling unease but it was not until he had almost reached her that he realized why. There were enemies gathering in the far edge of the field, between the trees he could see how their bows were fired and how the arrows started ripping their way through the peaceful morning sky. Before he had even realized how many arrows had been fired he had reached her. Before words could be said he had picked her up and was running with her in his arms, away from the danger, away from the arrows. For the first time in his life he was running away from danger. And for the very first time he felt fear.

For each of the arrows he heard hitting the soil behind him he blessed the poor aim of the archers, for each arrow that landed in front of him he started running faster. Out of their range. Out of their harm. But so it came to pass, that one arrow was lucky enough to hit him. And then another. For each arrow he could feel his breathing getting heavier. He reached the first point of security shortly after the adrenaline from being hit by the first arrow faded. There he was, the older Heartbreaker, coming running towards them and then past them to counterattack. The next secure point was when he put down his beautiful guest. And the third and final point of security was when he closed the gates behind him and returned to aid in the counterattack of the Heartbreakers.

Most of the enemies could be categorized as following either a Risktaker, a Soldier or a Riskbreaker. These men were a mixture of the Soldier enemy and the Riskbreaker kind. Why and when they had chosen to attack will never be clear because none of them survived to tell the Heartbreakers which were both fighting out of frenzied rage.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, shit.”

“You got like what? 49 arrows in your back?”

“More like 12-13.“

“And you feel okay with that?”

Silently they continued back to their fort. The arrows were all pulled out on the way back. They both shared the same thought but neither one of them spoke it. If she was in any way behind what just happened they would know soon enough…

“So… you ready for this?”

“Yeah, I just hope we’re both wrong.“

“Yeah, we proboably are, I mean; why would she? She’s interested in you, I could tell.”

“Ha! Yeah, so now – if she actually is – we’ll know that you lied to make me feel better!“

“Don’tchu worry, she’s not, just you and me who are to paranoid.”

For the first time winded, for the first time “injured” they both stood there, ready to face what could be their first betrayer. Who and what would this betrayer be? And betrayer of what? Life, love, trust…? Life suddenly had gotten so much more complicated since the merge, and the two Heartbreakers both knew it was not going to get any better. “We might as well enjoy the ride.“

Courtyard: Warrior

“You got hold of quite a warrior didn’t you?”

“Well wh- what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. My head hurts like hell.“

“Ah- you should have felt what it was like a couple of hours ago.”

“… you felt that?“

“I feel everything that you feel.”

“But I don’t feel what you feel?“

“Yes you do…”

“So you feel nothing?“

“More or less. Less most of the time…”

“Since when did we become friends?“

“Ever since the merge you are me, and I am you… We’re no longer comrades… we’re… alone together..?”

“So, what exactly? Did you feel what happened in my room?“

“Yeah..? Hope that’s okay with you?”

“Well, I guess it’s okay, kind of awkward and weird though.“

“I don’t feel the kissing. I feel the feelings.”

“What?“

“If someone stabs you in the eye and you loose your eye I will only feel pain for as long as you do. But my eye will not have suffered any damage, I think. I’m glad that you felt the joy that you felt yesterday, it was very soothing…”

“What do you mean by warrior?“

“The girl? She has been up since dawn, she’s homeless isn’t she?”

“I don’t know… I never saw her house.“

“If you want her to stay then she can stay. But know that she will wither and die one day. And though a lifetime with her now seems like forever a lifetime with her after she has died will have past way too fast…”

And so the conversation came to an end. Maybe it was for the better. I had to think about what Heartbreaker had just told me. A lifetime..? A lifetime together with someone else. And what did he mean by wither; withering is what flowers do? Are human lives really as frail as flowers? All those lives I have taken. Do I have the blood of flowers on my hands? And in what twisted world will a lifetime feel like an instant after it has passed…? Time isn’t really something that I feel. It’s something I know effects the world around me. I was starting to understand what he meant with what he said to me. I understand why he said it, I understand what he meant. So- now that I have actually brought her here, will I ask her to stay or ask her to leave?

The young, and in daylight much more vivid, woman was sitting in the middle of a field that was located just beneath the fort. The field on which many warriors had fought against the two Heartbreakers. Many flowers had been cut down, many lives had withered away. Many promises had been broken and many voices had been silenced. Her voice hadn’t been silenced, not by a weapon, word or time.

I could protect her at least from words and from weapons… I can’t protect her from time. She wouldn’t survive merging with me. She’s not even created to last forever. Was I created to last forever? Maybe this feeling on my back is Sir Heartbreaker trying to comfort me? Does he feel my confusion? Did he tell me all that to wake up these feelings within me? Why did I kill all those men..? Aren’t all flowers as beautiful… in their own way?

“What have I done…?“

Diary: The Merge

Life hasn’t really been the same lately. Sir Heartbreaker and I merged. And it worked. I guess lately I’ve been experiencing side effects from the merge itself. I have started feeling pain. It’s a special kind of pain though. As though my heart is aching. It’s longing to love. Last night I snuck out of the fort. I left his side, and went into the village. I wanted to have a good time. And so I did. I had a really good time. The local tavern was lively and I decided to pay it a visit. When I got in I was offered free drinks and food, there as a celebration going on. Someone was celebrating something.

As time started passing I realized that the drinks were poisoned. I started experiencing dullness and starting finding serious matters laughable. For a moment I thought that I was happy. For a moment I thought that I was free. For a moment all my problems were solved. Then I realized, once again, that the intoxicating drinks were being handed out by people who themselves drank vigorously drank it. I realized that it was all a part of having fun. I also realized I have a certain resistance towards the poison.

Suddenly I was in a fight with someone. I took him out quite easily and then the feast continued. Free food and poison that makes you feel warm and happy. What could I do? I stayed. Even more suddenly after that women had started showing interest in me, I guess my acts of violence had made them impressed and started speaking to them about it. The more I told them about me the more fascinated they were and sometimes one of them would move on but others would come to replace their seat.

But among the girls were her. She stayed for hours, listening to me. Her listening made me so happy. I thought I had found a friend. I thought I had found someone to talk to – apart from Sir Heartbreaker – I rarely talk to anyone. After a while the partying had died out and left were only a few. We had moved away from the crowded tables and were talking to each other more intimately. She told me all about her, I was fascinated. It was as if we were meant to meet. I thought, maybe I could train her, maybe I can become her master, and she my apprentice. I would love to have someone else fighting by my side.

I invited her, to my quarters, to my home. Once I had asked her she was eager to come with me. She had started recovering from the poison and so had I. Suddenly the thug from earlier ambushed us but his luck was no better than the last time he had tried to attack me. He spat his filthy blood on us both, but she begged me not to go after him, she told me to return home and get cleaned up, she would come after.

When I returned to the fort Sir Heartbreaker met me at the entrance. He asked me if I had enjoyed myself. He was happy, a smile covered his otherwise troubled face. I told him that I was. He nodded. “We share thoughts… you know…” he said. I asked him what he meant. He said “no matter how well you train her she will one day fall, by the hands of her enemies or by the hand of Death”. I suddenly realized how she was merely human.

When she came back she was wearing a most beautiful blue. Her smile was scarlet and her eyes were of the most golden gray tone I had ever seen. After a brief conversation on how well I had cleaned myself up after the earlier incident and I told her that she had cleaned up even better our lips met. Our lips soon became friends and started making conversation, they asked one another questions, they touched, they danced. After a few moments she fell asleep in my arms. The whole night was spent listening to her breathing and her heart… beating the most human beat, making the most beautiful music…

Library: The Loyal Master

“Heartbreaker!“

“Oh my god, can’t I have one minute of peace and quiet? Must you always… I’m sorry.”

“What’re you up to? You seem a little more frustrated than you usually are…?“

“Well, I am. I’m looking for something.”

“What’re you looking for? Maybe I can-”

“Help? Don’t think so. This is something I have to do by myself…”

“Don’t you always say that there is always a way? I want to help you.“

“Well this is different. This is personal. Between me and the books. Going to finish every single one of these bastards if I have to.”

“Are you loosing your mind or are you just trying to be funny?“

“Don’t know guess it’s somewhere between those two options.”

“What’re you looking for?“

“I have forgotten who I am…”

“You’re Sir Heartbreaker…“

“No, no not that. I don’t remember my family, my friends… I only remember you, and don’t take it personal but that’s not enough.”

“You’ve forgotten your past?“

“Yes, and without a past there is no present, and without a present there is no future! See; I’m already starting to disappear!”

“That’s why I’m here… I need to tell you something…“

“What is it? Tell me fast, tell me now…”

“We’re the same- we’re the same being. You and I… we are one and the same being. We share the same soul.“

“That’s impossible. Wha- whe- who are you?”

“I’m you… the new you. I’ve been sent here to replace you but… I can’t… I’ve decided to let us merge instead. A Heartbreaker that kills another Heartbreaker is no longer a real Heartbreaker, not according to me atleast.“

“What?!”

“Will you come with me… will you become one with me, or will you vanish? Please, Sir, stay with me…“

“What exactly will this merge do to us?”

“Nothing, except that we will share thoughts, and our bodies will react to each others… So if you bleed, I bleed…“

“Well, since you’re asking me now, at my moment of well- death more or less- I’ll stay… But know that I would stay for you no matter when you asked me to.”

“I know you would, that’s why I choose you as my master and not someone else. I believe in you. I believe in me.“

Diary: Reason to Live

Heartbreaker had spent many hours in the library before I found him. There he was, laying as if he had died in the arms of the books with his mouth wide open and his eyes shut. Resting among the books. He was searching for answers, for reason and maybe even for some hope.

One thing is for certain Heartbreaker wasn’t always called Heartbreaker. However, when you can’t feel time pass, you can’t age. For every new memory, every scar, they will appear to have happened only minutes ago, or at most yesterday.

He has lived under many names. He has served under many flags, looking for some order in chaos. One may think that he would have found it, sooner or later. What he found was more chaos, wherever he lay his eyes there was pain and wherever there was pain there was confusion. Confusion comes with ideals and morals. That very confusion is what will make humans kill each other for ever and ever.

So he started looking for the source of the pain. Obviously one must know the source to stop the fire from spreading. The source of pain was often love, no matter how direct. One might love his children and try to protect them from harm by keeping what is strange away from them. One might feel betrayed by a loved friend when that very friend ended the friendship. Maybe, just maybe should love for once be tollfree? Maybe you should love someone no matter what they do to you?

Heartbreaker did this. He started living for love, serving love’s cause and making it his purpose. Wherever he went he brought “real love” and then he left. The thing about giving real love to someone not able to give it back is that you will never be repayed. But for Heartbreaker it didn’t matter. Until that day, the day he got his name; Sir Heartbreaker. For many days, weeks, months and even years had I wondered about why he was called Heartbreaker. I supposed it was because of his good looks, he must have been a real ladies man! However, that was not the case.

Heartbreaker never got any of the love back. And giving love is like breaking of a piece of your heart. Hoping that the person you give love to will try and repair your heart. Noone ever did repay Heartbreaker. But he kept on giving his love away. As if it was worth nothing even though it was his most precious treasure. It was his own heart he kept on breaking. I know that now. I read it in his biography. He keeps on writing it, even though he can’t die.

With the other names he has lived, there was some sort of a stop when life got grand enough. There was an end. But as Heartbreaker he has spent more time than I can imagine. Rooms after rooms filled with bookshelf. Each and every one of them containing a piece of his biography. He has stopped numbering them. He has stopped sorting them. He just keeps on writing. As if cursed by love. I fear that I am becoming him. I must stop before I loose my heart aswell… or maybe. I should accept my faith and become his brother in arms. In his war against reality I would love to serve as a friend by his side!

The Siege: December

“Heartbreaker!“

“Yes? What is it this time?”

“I want to wish you a joyfull new year! And give you this gift!“

“What’s this?”

“It’s an amulet! It’ll protect you from curses!“

“Do you not realize that my life is a curse?”

“How so?“

“Ever wonder when we will die? My time to leave this world passed long ago.”

“Then why are you still here?“

“I can’t just leave like that… Nothing’s ever that simple… You see, I was once like you. But then i learned the ways of the world. Oh, how I wish that I could once more be young and naive. To see the world with closed eyes again.”

“My eyes are open… But you keep making those accusations, telling me my eyes are closed!“

“They are. Ignorance is bliss, son. And you sure are ignorant.”

“Well I hope you enjoy your gift. And that you’ll some day understand and appreciate me…“

“I hope that you will someday understand and appreciate me too. Maybe we’ll understand each other some day? Or maybe I already understand you, but you can’t make me less lonely. And I don’t want to make you less lonely. Why make you believe in a world that will hurt you; why let this world bring you down? Don’t you understand that you’ve been taken under my wings to become an immovable object, just like me?”

“What if I want to live and make my own mistakes? What if I want to know the pains that you’ve once felt?“

“Then go! Find misery and find hatred but don’t forget to find happiness and kindness. I’m sure you’ll find everything out there. Except for love… Love will find you… love will kill you my dear friend.”

“It didn’t kill you, did it?“

“Many times… over and over…

I got a gift for you too…”

The Siege: Battle

“Why must you insist on attacking us? What have we done to deserve your hatred?“

“They attack us because they are being ordered to! Don’t question their motives, just kill them until they leave.”

“All this fighting is making me weary, there must be some sort of sanctuary, where we can live in peace and not have to fight.“

“Forget about peace, as long as there is happiness there will be envy, and as long as there is envy the ones who feel envy will learn to hate. And as long as there is hate there will be happiness, where hate is not yet rooted.”

“But there has to be something I can do! – Stay down! – They are restless! Their attacks will never stop. They have been attacking for several hours straight now. They don’t even care about evacuating their injured! They just leave them to die.“

“They should break of their attack soon. They’ve been attacking for more than a week straight. They should be running out of supplies soon.”

“Yeah, and then I’ll have to bury all of the dead! Last time took me several days and by the looks of it this’ll take at least 4 days.“

“Ha! You should dig a whole in preparation of the next attack!”

“Sir, if you don’t mind me telling you this, sometimes you are a monster!“

“I am? We both are! Look around you. To them we are monsters! We don’t tire! We don’t weaken! We don’t die!”

“…”

“Hey! Look your friends are retreating I guess you should all turn and run as well! If you lay down your weapons we will stop killing you! Help your injured friends out of here!”

“They’re not helping their injured…“

“Well we’ll patch them up and send them away when they are strong enough to leave… monsters…”

The Siege: Breach

“Heartbreaker! Heartbreaker!”

“What is it?”

“They’ve breached through the gates, enemies are flooding the courtyard as we speak.”

“Let them come, this day has come before, and will come again. Each and every day we face enemies, some days are clouded, others filled with sunshine. But we fight. Each and every day. They live for something. I live to die peacefully… How can they expect me to fall in battle?

Can’t they see my banner?! The broken heart has been waving ever since the day I first set foot in this castle. Why do they come here? To face the phantom, to face the beast, bring my head back on a plate to please their masters.”

“… Their numbers concern me. We will have to fight for days and nights again.”

“We’ve done it before, haven’t we?”

“Yes but sir… Yes, I am young, but I am fragile. I am not as hardened as you are.”

“Nor are you as weary as I am. Listen, from this day and on I want you to stop calling me sir. You are my most trustworthy man, you are the only man who has passed through those doors since… ever. You see, you and I, we are very much alike. But your heart hasn’t been broken yet.”

“I…?”

“Listen time will come when you will understand that you and I are brothers. Fighting for what’s right, side by side, ’til our hearts stop beating. So let our heart beat as one heart. And should one of us fall, the other one will pick him up!”